| (no subject) |
[Feb. 13th, 2008|06:58 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  depressed | ] |
i feel like my life is dead ending.
i just lost the love of my life the day before valentines.
we were supposed to leave for florida in a week. the whole trip is in shambles.
i am behind in school hardcore
i have lost sight of my own self worth.
i dont believe i am beautiful or special or unique anymore
i am an overly depressed needy self loathing psych major who had to ask her professor to refer her to a good therapist in town.
my own family has stolen a lot of money from me.
i am alone.
i am lost.
i am sad.
i am broken. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 2nd, 2006|11:51 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  bored | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Degrassi in the backround | ] |
Comment and I'll give you a letter and then you have to list 10 things you love that begin with that letter.
emilie left me "f"
1. Friends
2. Fun
3. Fuck(the word love it love it)
5. Fondue
6. French Fries
7. Frappes
8. French Vanilla Cool Whip
9. Family Fued
10. Flap Jacks (aka pancakes, no syrup please)
I am back at school now. ADDDRRRIIIAANN! with my best friend kelly, and bridget and marcus! loves! school years gunna be hard. good luck to all my college friends. good summer |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 19th, 2006|10:39 pm] |
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I am going back to school tommorow. i will miss summer. i can't believe its over. it was sweet tho. |
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| pro choice |
[Apr. 12th, 2006|04:29 pm] |
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so there is a lot of shit going down in a-hizzle. huge prolife demonstration. made me mad. me and my my friends busted out the pro choice stuff. just because you are pro choice doesnt mean you are pro death. i think that women should have the right to choose. people autimatically assume that because u arer pro life you are supporting abortion. i am supporting the right for women to make their own choices. and oh yeah the pro life club consists practically entirely of all men. wow. |
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| good mix |
[Mar. 30th, 2006|03:36 pm] |
| How to make a Amy VanBecelaere |
Ingredients:
1 part competetiveness
1 part humour
5 parts beauty |
Method:
Combine in a tall glass half filled with crushed ice. Add a little sadness if desired! |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 28th, 2006|06:48 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  amused | ] |
hahahaha i just read my rant and it was actually quite funny haha i feel much better now! and i won an award for something! and my choreography show was awesome and now its done.
la vie est belle bitches! |
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| fuck this shit |
[Mar. 28th, 2006|12:19 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  pissed off | ] |
| [ | music |
| | sunday - sia | ] |
ok i havent written in my lj in a very long time because i have been content. well i am not f-ing content today. i am sick of everything. if u dont want to hear about my petty bullshit problems then stop reading.
first of all i am just really sick of bitches. mother f-ing cyndi ferguson, i hate you. i never did anything to you intentionally. all i said was there should be an audition for the choreographer position, which is only fair. second of all, your sister gave me a job in deerfield choreographing a dinner theatre as practice for the Broadway review. anyone in decent mind would say "oh.. looks like amy has a fair chance of maybe doing some choreography in the future" So i went to Dr. Hodgeman because i was confused and didnt want to stress anyone else out more and i figured he would know what was going on. i never complained about u, i just wanted things to be fair. it is not fair that you get the job cuz ur sister did it and you know that. you dont get to act like a bitch to me all the time because i wanted clarity and fairness. i am sorry you are acting like a baby and can't handle the fact that things cant always be handed to you on a silver platter. get over it thats life. Another thing if i think rubbing butter on ur hands is gross, than i do, so don't tell me to relax and that its not even gross like u are some queen that knows everything. fuck off its my opinion. Dont get up and leave when i sit down, what are we 13? Dont tell bridget that u and kim arent mad at her only me, when we did the exact same thing, nothing more, nothing less. you enrage me and annoy me. grow up.
second of all to all you bitches who cheat. stop! dont ask to borrow my notes and then cheat off of them. dont tell on other people for cheating and then write the answers on ur hand you fucking hypocrites. god grow up, this is college. learn something, be smart you are paying for college you mys well make good use of it. i dont respect you and i hope you all get caught, otherwise karma will get you and shes a bitch too.
third of all to all girls that are mean for no reason. why? grow up and stop being so insecure. you dance team bitches in my dance class, your not better than me. your technique sucks, deal with it. wow u can cheer better than me, big deal in the real world no one cares. so next time you avoid being in the real dancers group realize that you arent hurting us, you are only hurting yourselfs, you could be learning how to actually dance but you choose not to. definetely not my loss thats for sure. i am glad you find fosse to be so ridiculous. but hey!! guess what? thats real dancing. its real technique, so go ahead laugh at the choreography no one cares, you are the ones that look like fools in the end.
hey liars. what the fuck? o really your study guide isnt the right chapter? yeah right, how about next time you just say i dont want you to use my notes, instead of making up some lame lie. be straight up.
lastly to the asshole that tried to make me feel like shit because i dont care if i am famous. being famous is not everything, in fact it means very little in the long run. i will be a great teacher one day, and i am going to affect the lifes of many young people. in my heart that means more to me than if i am the cover or star magazine. and lets be real, your never gunna be that famous either. your not a good person, and its the good people who really go far in life. i dont need you to bring me down and critize my life choices. and hey, about shane, get over it. he has a sweeter heart than you will ever have. ass.
k i am done now |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 14th, 2006|12:46 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  mellow | ] |
So today was beautiful. I love the rain. I love the sunshine. I love spring. I felt happy for once. I am majoring in Elementary Education and Psychology and I am gunna help the world. And I am gunna move some place warm. Fuck yeah I am.
P.S. I think stopping a friendship over an internet site is stupid. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 8th, 2006|04:19 pm] |
I am changing my major and so is my best friend.
good for us
we will be sucessful...
we will live in california
we will be rich |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 22nd, 2006|09:07 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  pessimistic | ] |
i wanna go home.. i hate working out...i know i need to loose weight but i just absolutely fucking hate the process. i miss him. i want him. i still need him.
play your music just for me. why aren't i in a relationship, whats wrong with me. i am so sick of being alone i just want to throw up.
life is never want u hope it to be.. i guess its what u make of it. so i guess that means i am screwed
off to study for midterms i will be home friday |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 17th, 2006|03:59 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  cold | ] |
| [ | music |
| | clear the area - imogen heap | ] |
i am so freaking cold. i am working extra hours today, cuz the boss left early. my family left for florida today.. i am sooo jealous. its freezing out today, i am lonely..i am bored...i am hungry. I am so glad all my shows are over. I am working on raising money for dance marathon. Its to raise money for the Elizabeth
Glasier Pediatric Aids Foundation. I have to raise at least 200 dollars, but her story is truly amazing.maybe someone will love me tonight..haha i am kinda pathetic..its happens. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 8th, 2006|07:16 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  pleased | ] |
I just worked out hard and I feel like 100 bucks and more!! I am so happy... i love you endorphins!! I am gunna start working out as much as I can. I am glad I have a workout buddy! Marcus we are gunna be so hot!! love it love it! |
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| an ode to my arts academy friends.. |
[Feb. 6th, 2006|11:48 pm] |
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The good ole days... with parties at angies moms old house. to all the orginals that used to believe that we were so fucking special. i love you all. and i still love those moments. this song reminds me of all of u in different ways
We get high in backseats of cars
We break into mobile homes
We go to sleep to shake up you
And then wake up on our own
And that's the way we get by to
Way we get by
Aw that's, the way we get by to
Way we get by
We go out in stormy weather
We rarely practice discern
We make love to some with sin
We seek out the taciturn
And that's the way we get by to
Way we get by
Aw that's the way we get by to
Way we get by
And that's the way we get by to
Way we get by to
Way
And that's the way we get by
That's the way we get by
We found a new kinda dance in a magazine
Try it on, it's like nothin' you've ever seen
You sweet talk like a cop, an' you know it
You bought a new bag of pot
So let's make a new start
And that's the way to my heart to
Way to my heart
And that's the way we get by to
Way we get by
And that's the way we get by to
Way we get by to
Way
And that's the way we get by
That's the way we get by
We get high in backseats of cars
We put faith in our concerns
Fall in love too down the streak
We believe in the sum of ourselves
And that's the way we get by to
Way we get by
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 6th, 2006|08:51 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  blah | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Coldplay | ] |
J'adore mon amies!!
I love my friends, thats all i feel like saying
shows over...time to relax!
and lose 15 pounds haha |
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| its officially official...i am losing my mind |
[Jan. 26th, 2006|03:09 pm] |
i feel so out of it. so i officially had a breakdown yesterday. i was doing ok until i realized how far behind in my reading i am and then my mom could tell that something was wrong when i talked to her on the phone and then i lost it. i am so stressed out with rehearsals running all night and working til 5 everyday i have like an hour of down time in which i lay down and try to refocus myself which is incredibly hard lately.
i also was a given a solo spot in the revue and i dont even want it. i dont feel prepared at all. i just want to keal over and die...well not so much die as in slip into a sort of comatose just for a little while. All these tests are coming up and they are ready to beat me in the face..with a iron rod.
i am so lonely. i have been single practicly this entire year with the exception of trying to hold onto something that wasnt there anymore. i just wish i could make another connection. not one thats bound up with spikey thorns that make me bleed from the inside out. someone to love me. hah. love. fuck you love. your a mean son of a bitch.
i want to do something exciting soon. maybe i will make a bunch of money this summer and go to europe for a week. that would be cool. but who would go? some people dont like going on trips without their boyfriends and such. and i understand that they feel bad about leaving them. but honestly people that are destined to have a successful relationship will, and then when the seriousness and marriage comes...there will be no time for trips or friends. we are fucking 18 and 19 years old. this is our hour. our prime. why doesnt anyone else want to experience things like me.
i feel so tired, like a big freaking sack, i wish someone would pick me up and carry me over there shoulder and haul me away to somewhere i will feel happier at.
i also am extremely pissed that i am doing this huge favor for a certain person becuase this person said it would be experience for a job i really wanted, and then she just gave away the job to someone else who didnt have to do a fucking thing. screw that shit.
i want to sleep in my bed at home with holly. i miss my puppy, and i miss warmth.
also i am so fat. after revue i am starting a workout plan. ive gained like 10 pounds since i got here. ummm unacceptable. you cant really tell when u look at me. my pants arent fitting the same. marcus and i are gunna knock the fat out. yes~
take me away. |
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| new things a coming |
[Jan. 22nd, 2006|11:30 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
so i deleted his numbers out of my phone. blocked his screen name. this is it for real
i love sleeping at eastern with emilie
went to my first frat party...stayed for a total of maybe 3 minutes that might be pushing it
haha i love nick he is so nice burned me more songs to listen to.. and heather is a sweet girl too..
i am excited for my show!
broadway revue - feb 2 and 3 if u want to come give me a ring! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 18th, 2006|02:24 am] |
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Actf was fun. wished i hadnt missed so much class. wish you didnt act like such an asshole. loved urinetown. met hot australian studs. haha. i love bridget. she is my boo |
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| the roof! the roof! the roof is on fire! |
[Jan. 10th, 2006|12:05 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | awake | ] |
ok sooo basically, tonight was a big event, we tried to cook and we started a fire, and set the alarms off in the entire building. apparently there was grease under the burning that caught fire. it was the best tasting disaster of my life!!
evacuate!!!
yes haha i am glad to be back i am leaving for illinois tommrow!!i wont be back til sunday
sleep well |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 9th, 2006|12:50 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | content | ] |
| [ | music |
| | imogen heap | ] |
last night some weird ass shit went down...i saw a guy hit a girl, and it was heartbreaking. everything was going fine and then it happened. james hit his girlfriend and spit in her face.
i just dont think i could ever stay with someone who ever abused me like that. jackie.. take some space buddy. that was so wrong. i literally had tears in my eyes. i never want to see that again.
friends dont ever let a guy do something that to you, any guy that hits a girl in the face is no man, he's a testosterone charged woman.
just when things were getting good too. isnt that how life always is though?
i am back at school, sorry to the people i didnt hang out with... i was waiting for your calls
i love my room. |
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